Well these young women of today, they're so forward and brash. I'd just started to do my opening presentation, out in a local shopping centre, when I was approached by one of those annoying people doing "Market research". Well I so busy trying to escape that it took Lara to point out that the interviewer was in fact a "TASTY BIRD" and worth trying to entice into my "£500 web of sleaze and debauchery". So I did my usual furtive, overview, to the lovely Katie and lo and behold, she announced she was up for some lunch-time fun. She pointed out she was only getting £3.00 an hour to be insulted and abused in the street, so it seemed a bargain to be paid £500, to be insulted and abused in a luxury flat...........by me! Well thanks alot Katie!!
Well me and my big ideas. As it's always difficult to get girls, I hatched a plan for Lara to join an escort agency and meet some new girls that way. Anyway, she phones up "Robyn" who says she'll come over and interview Lara for a job. Well guess who turned up, a lookalike for "Pat" from Eastenders. Within five minutes of arriving she'd made a roll-up from her packet of "Drum Tobacco", which I thought only cons smoked, hitched up her skirt and set on poor Lara in a full frenzied Lesbian attack. This was in the guise of putting lara through her paces, to be honest I found the whole idea of Lara being used, by this bird, quite horny. Anyway, we came to the end of the err, "Interview" when Robyn announces, "That's only arff of it Doll, you're gonna have to shag my business associate Dave, to see if you can take cock". You'll have to wait til...
What is it about a sexy babe dressed in school uniform that drives us crazy, who knows? Anyway, this week I decided to do a Spanking Extravanza, I'm always getting emails from the spanking fraternity, so I got a couple of videos out, to get some hints, "How to discipline and spank Vol 33" was my first choice. I've noticed in these films you always have to do some daft scenario, to explain why the girls must be soundly spanked. So I made up my own dramatic story and got to spank the Loz's lovely round bottom until it was bright pink. I must admit it was quite horny, but to be honest I'm a ,stick your dick in a hole as fast as possible, kind of guy, so I couldn't wait to dispense with the spanking and screw her arse. However Lara had some other screw-ball idea and got Loz talking dirty to camera, whilst fucking herself with a dildo. An...
Well sure enough, just as Robyn has satisfied her wanton, lesbian lust on the hapless Lara, she sends for her "Business associate" Dave. A hulking great thug, who burst into the room, threatening yours truly, until Robyn reassures him that I'm "Kosher". Anyway, what a double act of sleazebags, Robyn and Dave's banter was hilarious, especially when he complained to Robyn that she'd stuck him with a lady-boy on his last assignment. So now it's Dave's turn to put Lara through her paces with a hard shag, I must admit this was the strangest interview I'd ever attended, I mean you wouldn't see this on the "Apprentice". When it got to, as Robyn so delicately put it, "Dropping anchor in Poo Bay" Lara backed off, so Robyn showed her how, with Dave pounding into her arse hole while Lara helped. Needless to say Lara passed their audition and it's a ...
I was on the phone to my friends at "Theme Girls", you know the escort agency that sends over girls dressed in different themes from films and so on, like "Tin Man" or "Cleopatra" except they never have the girls I want. Anyway this week they sent over "Trinity Van Helsing" from Munster in Germany (Supposedly), personally I think she was from Southend. Anyway, she turned up in a sexy fraulein costume, complete with knee high socks. I had my suspicions about her nationality, when she greeted me with, "Gott in himmel, donner und Blitzen die Englischer pig-dog!!" Now I don't speak a word of German, but I'm sure I read this line in a comic called "The Eagle" when I was a boy, where a bunch of our Tommies met a bloodfirsty platoon of the Bosch. My worst fears were confirmed when she raised her arm and shouted "Heil Hitler!". Anyway, I went...
Well, put me in a tall glass, cover me in fruit and ice cream, put a wafer in each ear and call me a Knicker Bocker Glory!..... I couldn't believe it......while driving down a busy A road I spotted a damsel in distress. The lovely Lena was standing by her old Nissan Micra waiting for the AA to arrive. Well what an opportunity to try out my £500 Bum Fun Challenge. I told her that she'd probably need a new car as her Micra definately looked ready for the scrap heap. So the thought of getting 500 smackers just for a quick shag, meant a new car for her. She'd been told she was going to have to wait for 2 hours for the patrolman to arrive,so without much convincing she came back to "Maison Jim". Well we dressed her up in a rather fetching all in one fish-net body suit, with rips in in and some high boots. (Just a note for the ladies out...
Hi folks, Otto here, well I'm off, back into the institution after this week. Watch out in a couple of weeks time for the great celeb, Jimmy Saveloy who's doing my job. Yes, here's another total babe from Budapest. The lovely Wendy. Guess wot, you know Budapest is like the World's Porn Capitol, well Wendy had a Hungarian-English dictonary with things like, "Can I fuck you now" and "You've got a big cock". Well this came in very handy during our scene. Wow what a tight minge she had, all juicy and wet. I gave her a good fingering, but all I really wanted to do was get me dick in'er which I'm proud to say I did! I tell ya'all I'm gonna have a good wank over her every night in me cell. Anyway, all the best. Otto.
Hi there guys and gals, 'owzabout that then, wot do we 'ave 'ere then (Tarzan yodle) wot a delicious babe to behold. The spectacular Jasmine wrote to yours truly saying, "Dear Jim, will you grope and shag me wearing that disgusting shell-suit with the stains on it"? Wot is it with these babes of to-day, wots wrong with asking for a ride on a donkey? These girls are just plain dirty. Anyway, you are going to love Jasmine, playing with her sodden minge, I couldn't wait for 'er to release my trouser snake and sink it into 'er gob.
Before I talk about Shay I should mention I've had a few enquiries from abroad asking "Who is Jimmy Saveloy" AKA Jimmy Saville? Well, he is parody of a famous British kids TV presenter from the 1970's, who used to get young girls and boys on his show and "Fix it" for them to do all sorts of exciting things! Anyway back to Shay. Well I'd have to say she is one of the sexiest babes I've had the pleasure of in recent times. In this weeks exciting episode I get her on the bed and entice her to sit on my dick, which she obligingly does. I won’t waste time on details, just watch it and be amazed. Next week, I put her in PVC and fuck and spank her and in a few weeks time Shay teams up with Lara to do another "Lara's £100 Challenge" so watch out for that one!
