Sharing experiences of Living with a Shoefetish

shoddy90 · Post by **shoddy90** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:52 am

Hi Bandolinohaze

It must be said, that the circumstances you describe could be the ultimate erotic fantasy for some Bandolinohaze, although I appreciate that for you it is a matter of inappropriate sexual attention.

You will I hope forgive me asking direct questions and making observations to gain insight, there is much to learn, to digest and consider.

If I may recap, you say that through some form of therapy, you have become aware that your aunt took inappropriate sexual advantage of you at a young age, that she performed masturbation, oral and shoe sex upon you.

You were somewhere between 9 and 11 when it started, after she had caught you in her closet.

Being caught implies you were on that occasion at least or had already been regularly enjoying some kind of sensory stimulation with her shoes; that you had been having sex with, sniffing, licking wearing etc.

How old was she when it began, and what age were you when it ended?

While I can understand that performing oral sex upon you may have been for her own enjoyment, the decision to masturbate you into her shoe would seem a considered pleasure being given, and implies that she felt or knew that you already had a sexually developed interest in her shoes.

Did she insist any other sexual activity occurred between you for her own sexual gratification?

Was she a blood relative or related by marriage?

Was it always a particular shoe or a particular style shoe she used, and has that style stayed as a preference with you?

shoddy90 · Post by **shoddy90** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:16 am

feverpitch wrote:I'm hoping that I can find a girl who likes this fetish (or at least can understand it). However I live in a very conservative town and stuff like this is treated like a disease.

It can be very difficult Living with a shoefetish, and difficult for others living with someone who has one. I doubt that any of us really fully understands even our own version of fetish feverpitch, so perhaps better to hope you will find someone who accepts you as you are; fetish and all.
You say "stuff like this", what does that mean? , in your conservative town do they publicly hang gays or put transvestites in stocks on the town square for public ridicule?
Wherever you live, there are all sorts of quirky things that go on behind closed doors, and at least you know you are not alone in the world with your fetish, what ever that is.

flats_koi · Post by **flats_koi** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:45 am

I never thought about it much. It's not really a big deal (for me), because I can still get off to other things. So it's really just one more thing that makes me horny. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone it's fine. The only possible downside is, I'm exposed to many shoes I wish I could cum, but can't. But this is no worse than seeing women with low cleavage tops.

Bandolinohaze · Post by **Bandolinohaze** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 8:40 am

shoddy90 wrote:Hi Bandolinohaze

It must be said, that the circumstances you describe could be the ultimate erotic fantasy for some Bandolinohaze, although I appreciate that for you it is a matter of inappropriate sexual attention.Actually I can not agree more and the irony of my situation is very powerful!! Let me preface my answers THAT THROUGH COUNSELING repressed memories of my stimuli have reoccurred to me.I hope you,shoddy 90, and the rest of the readers can appreciate that these memories are not as clear as I like. That wasnt the purpose of my counseling with two different counselors even.The purpose was to get to a place where i could express myself in a rational intelligent fashion about about my inabilities.SOOO..

You will I hope forgive me asking direct questions and making observations to gain insight, there is much to learn, to digest and consider.

If I may recap, you say that through some form of therapy, you have become aware that your aunt took inappropriate sexual advantage of you at a young age, that she performed masturbation, oral and shoe sex upon you.

You were somewhere between 9 and 11 when it started, after she had caught you in her closet.

Being caught implies you were on that occasion at least or had already been regularly enjoying some kind of sensory stimulation with her shoes; that you had been having sex with, sniffing, licking wearing etc.
I wasnt as clear about this before as I should've been.No memory repressed or otherwise comes to me about being in her personal space admiring anything of hers much less her shoes.Honersty I do remember well that she and her daughters stayed in a small apartment(duplex) and that she had to share her closet space with the kids and most of their clothes and shoes were actually everywhere in the apartment.It was just 1 bedroom she and her younger daughter slept in the bedroom and the older daughter slept in the living room.on a sleeper couch. Yes one of my two counselors has drawn the conclusion that once he began to piece together my real memories and my repressed ones that.that I didnot NEED to be caught being stimulated possibly true I havent found that memory I havent found any feeling of stimulization towards their shoes and clothesthat is prior to when the first time happened
How old was she when it began, and what age were you when it ended? She had to have been 29 when it began and I was 11 i think when it ended but possibly i was 13.I was 13 when they moved away.I was 11 when they moved to a different place and staying with them for more than a short visit wasnt necessary.

While I can understand that performing oral sex upon you may have been for her own enjoyment, the decision to masturbate you into her shoe would seem a considered pleasure being given, and implies that she felt or knew that you already had a sexually developed interest in her shoes. I admit and one of the two counselors says I had something implied going on. I do CLEARLY remember her daughters shoes at this time,but dont remember being stimulated by them and not at masturbating or attempting to masturbate with them>Actually it was the lack of shoes I remember.I learned that all she could affored for her girls were shoes from the thrift stores and hand-me-downs.The only shoes that she coule even afford first hand were cheap drug store flip-flops and house slippers.These each memory i have them or there shoes She also gave me baths was quite thread-bare

Did she insist any other sexual activity occurred between you for her own sexual gratification? She also gave me baths Apparently she progressed from giving me baths which at first she even tried to bath all three of us at once.and through repressed memories she would in the course of the bath stimulate and fondle my penis.It would have worked but we kids were too squirmy. Yes at least once she crawled in the tub with me and i got to see a full nude her iam sure iwas stimulated.Other times she decided to try to have me take a shower and she was there too.I mean bathing and she fondled my penis.."cleaning it" yes she was nude in the shower with me.
In addition(and probably this IS where the Fetish took roo tshe dressed me in her girls clothes and eirher the sneakers or the flip-flops or the scuffs at times,but i dont have a memory of these times of masturbation..although i know i was stimulated
Was she a blood relative or related by marriage?Again I wasnt clear on this point.I HAVE TO REFFERED TO HER AS AN AUNT FROM MEMORY HOWEVER she is actually neither a blood aunt or non-blood aunt. .She moved her family near me and her girls and began quickly playing..from the day they moved in actually,and we bonded.Therefore my parents trusted her to let me stay there as much as I wanted to.She(the Mom) is the daughter of old friend of my Mom. I did get to calling her Aunt.

Was it always a particular shoe or a particular style shoe she used, and has that style stayed as a preference with you?

AGAIN I dont have a perfect memory,but I know certain things. Shad a limited wardrobe because shea single mother making do on minimal wages,She had some cowboy boots and heels for church and dating and sneakers for work and a apir of flip-flops and and a pair of house scuffs.the girls just had sneakers and a paiir of flip-flops.The shoes she masturbated me into had to be some of those. Yes,these were my first favorites and still are. I will hunt Flip-flops,sneakers and sandals first. BTW shoddy90. I answered the questions next to the questions except at the last!!

Bandolinohaze · Post by **Bandolinohaze** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 10:37 am

(I wrote more and it didnnot save) lets just say feel free to ask more questions and anymore details i have remebered .its somewhat OT but i have the strongest old memories of my last encounter,too.By discussing it I am going admittedly contradcit myself.For there was at least time over at her other apartment.Therefore had to be later than i was 11.I remmeber Mom and I had gone to visit with them and the girls invited me to stay longer than Mom was wantingto stay,and She cooerced me to take a shower there and "washed "me Thats when she performed the oral sex. Feel free to get more details you want.

shrimper · Post by **shrimper** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 4:08 am

Bandolinohaze, what interactions were there with the daughters? Sounds like they are close in age to you.

Bandolinohaze · Post by **Bandolinohaze** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 1:20 pm

shrimper wrote:Bandolinohaze, what interactions were there with the daughters? Sounds like they are close in age to you.

Shrimper, What i remember and what therapy has brought out is quite a lot of interaction and likely stimulation.it is likely that the stimulation the daughters were giving me i think led to the molestation> I feel like when "my aunt" saw that her daughters were stimulating me and she knew they were too young and naive to jump my meat she d.Its my theory. My Counselors and sponsor think its possible too..Anyway the juicy parts..because alot of memories of their shoes remain with me. I was staying with them after school and more many days. When they moved in ihad to have been inthe 4th grade age 9 and "Becky" was also inthe 4th grade and and "Darlene" was 12 and entering the 7th grade.>they mmoved in during the summer.That memory i clearly have of the day they moved in and how running anf play we did because there is a large open space between the duplex they stayed in and my house What shoe si remeber are easy because they dindnt own many Both "Darlene" and "Becky" had one pair each canvas Keds-like sneakers and one pair flip-flops.The ones "Darlene" had that i remeber were white insole/orange sole and the ones "Becky" had were white insole/yellow sole.Its vague but i think every pair of sneakers were white..at least to start out.What I dont remeber is id the girls owned any mary janes or dressy sandals.hmm The three of us bonded from day one and i loved being there just doing kids stuff and alot of running and playing. i have a really clear memory of beginning to be smitten on "Darlene" and realizing "Becky" was also smitten on me.that dynamic turned in to t he 5th grade year and 6th grade year and i was closer to "Becky" than her older sisterits funny because "Darlene" was more talkative and "Becky" more quiet.of course that make sense.i think thats why I like the older girl firs they when i was playing with them more and more then "Becky" opened up more and more. I do remember noticing the wear and all their shoes were getting as they were getting worn out,and even remeber bringing it up.i had to have been stimulated just at the rattiness. I DO REMEMBER what must have caused a subset of my fetish..thAat i may be the only one..just not any comments and discussion I ever found.Spring-summer ending the 4th grade age 9 "My AUNT" was given a cute blacke and white mutt dog. now the dog was not just inside as the duplex had a part of that large area between my house and the duplex. My memory is that I looked out at the kitchen door one afternoon and the dog had a shoe,one of the sneakers,working and chewing up it up really well>the dog was in no hurry either,he was he was lying down mouthing the remains .at first i had not figured what he was chewing then he shifted enough that i caught that it was indeed a sneaker of theirs, a left,the strings gone and he was currently chewing at the toe on the rubber sole, the toe area was extremely eaten too,as was the insole,it was eaten and riped up back to the vamp. i saw hie chew and rip away rubber from the toe,the insole and the canvas upper approaching the vamp and the seam for the vamp and the eyelets!I was too far awy too deduce the size or the that "My aunt" or "Darlene" or "Becky" was currently wear ing it I know I was entranced and just watched and watched what seems like forwever..dont think it was more than 10 mins. When "Darlene" aprroached me watching She asked me what are you doing and point ed at the dog eating the sneaker and "Darlene" said "oh,Crap!' Got to be my shoe..ive been missing them today! then "Darlene" siad "Shit" and turned around and walked away.I know just watching the puppy i know realize i was was very stimulated by the event and its quite likely the girls told their mom this had made me stimulated.When i piece together my timeline,the baths had been occuring but "My Aunt" had yet had masturbate with shoes I see how that couldve given her the thought that i would like to be masturbated with a shoe.BTW it was "Darlene's" too she went last few weeks of school in sandals and flip-flops BTW to this day I get stimulated if a dog gets to chew shoes of course particularly sneakers and flip-flops-becuse seams and straps pop so awesomely.

shoddy90 · Post by **shoddy90** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:27 pm

I want to say that you finding it stimulating to watch dog chew shoes is really weird Bandolinohaze, but I realise that is just one aspect, and of course there are some who find barbecuing shoes a turn on.
In a sentence about the daughters, you said "the shoes she masturbated me into had to be some of those", did you mean she took you into her daughters shoes?
Your story is intriguing, and a lot to consider in what you have shared.
Not sure if you will ever get answers, but I hope in some way helpful to be able to openly share with others.

Bandolinohaze · Post by **Bandolinohaze** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:49 pm

Shoddy90, I apologize,it feels like i have taken over "Living with a shoe fetish". yes my purpose is to be able to air out what happened to me,but counseling has done that,EXTENSIVELY. I wanted to aplogize to for any information that in my recovery are called"triggers" I am graphic and open in discussing.My main purpose in sharing is encourage others who have in childhood sexual abuse and now love the shoe fetish I hope to keep the thread going and also here for anyone with questions.About the daughters shoes and and all that.Just this week with these questions. i feel ike i remember through memory and other techniques the repressed memories.THE REAL MEMORIES are only of runing and playing..playing board games..watching TV MOSTLY litle sexual understand. BUT ALSO this feeling of..at times "Dread" or "Forboding' or "anger" OKaY FWTW Sooo, yes, I think I am really wierd how I find watching dogs chewing shoes stimulating as do my counselors.So far I have to talk to anyone else.I have launched threads on the subject with no response.So does my counselors who cant figure why i am either LOL.

Bandolinohaze · Post by **Bandolinohaze** » Sun Nov 03, 2013 2:30 pm

However I do think it is really really possible the shoes she used on me were her daughters,i can never be sure..Something else I think is really really possible is she did me into one daughter s sleepwear m ultipe times and to the other daughters yellow t shirt

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