Down at the farm, a story.
Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2021 8:51 am
It was the middle of winter and what a winter, every day seemed colder than the one before, I normally enjoyed farm maintenance, there was something about being outside in the middle of summer, enjoying the sun on your back and the smell of new mown hay or wildflowers, while most other people were stuck indoors. Oh yes, it was great, in winter however it could be a nightmare, everything was cold and damp and in a winter like this burst pipes were an everyday occurrence.
By and large all the machinery was fine, all the tractors and the telehandler had been checked, antifreeze topped up and any failing batteries replaced, any equipment that was not needed over winter had been well lubricated and put under cover in a shed, the other machines were always parked in one of the barns at night, ok they weren't heated, but at least it kept the frost off.
Each morning seemed to bring yet another burst pipe, the farmer had an attitude of fire fighting rather than fire prevention when it came to maintenance, rather than in this case spend money insulating the pipes, he'd leave them and just repair them when they burst, or rather I would!
For the last few years his theory had paid off, it hadn't really been cold and I doubt if he'd had more than 1 burst a year, in his mind this justified not spending money on insulation, this year however he'd been well and truly caught out.
Ice was everywhere, the drinks troughs for the animals were frozen, the pipes were frozen, even the puddles of water on the floor were frozen the once muddy soil was frozen into hard spikes that hurt like hell if you slipped and landed on them.You could tell it was cold, the horses all had big coats on and the young women who rode them who normally spent every free minute they had at the stables were coming down in a morning, turning their horses out into the paddock, mucking out filling the hay nets and going home, they'd return last thing and bring the horses in from the paddock for the night.
Spending so much time outside I'd taken to filling an old oil drum with waste wood and leaving it burning in the yard, at least it gave me a way of keeping my hands from freezing, even with gloves on, the girls too would come and stand by the fire to have a warm as they cleaned their stables. The only thing that seemed warm was the muck heap, a large pile of rotting straw bedding and horse manure which came out of the stables, it was left to rot down and in the spring it was put onto the fields as a form of nutrient, for some strange reason the colder the weather the hotter this thing got.
On this particular day it was absolutely freezing, I'd got so many burst pipes I didn't know where to start and I'd had to send someone off to get more fittings, the small stock we kept on the farm just wasn't going to be enough.There was hardly anyone about, most of the girls had been and gone by 9.30, and I envied them being sat at home in front of a nice warm fire, I remembered the old saying about only mad dogs and Englishmen going out in the midday sun and grinned to myself, I wondered what apart from poor bloody maintenance men went out in the freezing cold, even the farmer seemed reluctant to drag himself away from his nice warm Aga in his farmhouse kitchen.
As I turned the corner by the muck heap I noticed one of the girls emptying her wheelbarrow, oddly enough she didn't seem bothered about the cold, she wasn't even wearing the thick warm boots like the other girls, just a pair of cheap rubber wellingtons. "freezing isn't it?" I remarked as I walked past, she smiled, "oh it's not too bad, it's amazing how much heat you get from a muck heap" I nodded, "yeah, but your feet must be bloody freezing in those wellies", she gave me a friendly grin, "like I said it's amazing how much heat a muck heap produces. I carried on and went to fix the next burst pipe on my list, and then onto the next one, and the next and the next, pretty soon it was lunchtime and I retreated to the relative warmth of my van, I had this habit of starting it up on cold days and letting it warm up while I washed my hands and cleaned up, at least that way it was quite a warm place to sit and eat lunch, better than a cold draughty stable.
I'd just sat in the van and was about to open my lunch when I noticed the girl from earlier approaching, I opened my door and called her over, "hi, what are you doing for lunch?" I asked, "oh, I've got some sandwiches and a flask of coffee, as a matter of fact I was just going to sit in my stable and eat it" she replied, "go and get it and join me in here, it's much warmer" I told her, she looked down at her dirty black wellies, "it's ok, my boots are filthy and I can't take them off" she answered, sounding a little uncomfortable. "don't worry, mine aren't clean either, that's why I have the rubber mats, I just hose the mess off them later", she smiled, "ok then if you're sure" I nodded, "I am". She went off and returned shortly after with a plastic sandwich box and a small flask, she opened the passenger door and got in, "ooh it is nice and warm in here isn't it" she smiled, stretching out her legs.
We chatted as we ate our lunch, about work, about the weather and about her favourite subject, horses, she was horse mad, she didn't have a boyfriend, she hadn't time, if she wasn't working she was with her horse.unusually today there was rather a strong smell of horse manure in the van, I sniffed the air, "oh I'm sorry, that must be my wellies warming up, I said I should have stayed in the stable" she said, blushing, "don't worry, I'm used to it, it just seems stronger today" I replied.
Lunch over she thanked me for letting her sit in my warm van, I told her it was a pleasure, it was nice to talk to someone and to be honest she was quite a pleasant young lady, put it this way, I'd spent time with worse people.She went back to her stable and I went back to my pipes, a short while later I'd been fixing quite a bad burst and had to cut out a section of pipe, I remembered I'd left one of my cutters around the back where I'd been working earlier and went to retrieve it. As Iheaded towards the muck heap I noticed my horsey friend standing in the muck heap and wondered what she was doing, she seemed to be sort of paddling, when she'd turned some of the steaming manure into a sort of mush she bent down and removed one of her wellies, as she turned it upside down something fell out of it, I was intrigued and watched quietly and unobserved.
She ten picked up a small trowel and put several scoops of the mushed manure into her boot before stepping back into it, then she did the same with the other one. Suddenly she turned around and spotted me, she looked horrified, I walked over to her, "lost my trowel earlier and came back to find it" she said, her cheeks reddening as she spoke. I smiled, "I see, and it was in your wellie was it?" she looked horrified again, "how long were you stood there then?" she asked, "oh long enough, I was wondering why you were putting that stuff into your boots" I answered, "come here, I'll show you something" she replied, indicating for me to climb onto the muck heap, I did as she asked and ended up stood in a pile of soft muck that came halfway up my boot,"now what?" I asked, "wait a minute, you'll see" she replied, I felt a right fool and hoped that nobody came into the yard, I couldn't think of any plausible explanation as to why two grown adults were standing in a muck heap on a freezing cold winters day, "can you feel it yet?" she asked several minutes later, "feel what?" I asked, "the warmth on your feet", she was right, my feet were several degrees warmer than before I stepped into the heap. "come on, before we get spotted, people will think we're mad" I told her.
She followed me to where I'd left my cutter, "look, please don't tell anyone what you saw, I'd die of embarrasment if it got out" she begged, "ok, but tell me why" I replied, she went on to explain that there were two reasons, the first, it kept her feet warm, and secondly, ever since an incident a few months back she found it turned her on,also the fact that she was walking around with a load of manure inside her boots without anyone knowing only added to the thrill, or it did, but now I knew about her little kink.
She begged me to say nothing about what I'd seen and said she'd make it worth my while if I promised to keep quiet, offering to buy me some beer or some of my favourite cigs, anything to keep quiet.I told her not to worry, her little secret was safe with me, I told her to meet me again in my van tomorrow, I wanted to discuss this, to be honest it interested me.
To be continued
By and large all the machinery was fine, all the tractors and the telehandler had been checked, antifreeze topped up and any failing batteries replaced, any equipment that was not needed over winter had been well lubricated and put under cover in a shed, the other machines were always parked in one of the barns at night, ok they weren't heated, but at least it kept the frost off.
Each morning seemed to bring yet another burst pipe, the farmer had an attitude of fire fighting rather than fire prevention when it came to maintenance, rather than in this case spend money insulating the pipes, he'd leave them and just repair them when they burst, or rather I would!
For the last few years his theory had paid off, it hadn't really been cold and I doubt if he'd had more than 1 burst a year, in his mind this justified not spending money on insulation, this year however he'd been well and truly caught out.
Ice was everywhere, the drinks troughs for the animals were frozen, the pipes were frozen, even the puddles of water on the floor were frozen the once muddy soil was frozen into hard spikes that hurt like hell if you slipped and landed on them.You could tell it was cold, the horses all had big coats on and the young women who rode them who normally spent every free minute they had at the stables were coming down in a morning, turning their horses out into the paddock, mucking out filling the hay nets and going home, they'd return last thing and bring the horses in from the paddock for the night.
Spending so much time outside I'd taken to filling an old oil drum with waste wood and leaving it burning in the yard, at least it gave me a way of keeping my hands from freezing, even with gloves on, the girls too would come and stand by the fire to have a warm as they cleaned their stables. The only thing that seemed warm was the muck heap, a large pile of rotting straw bedding and horse manure which came out of the stables, it was left to rot down and in the spring it was put onto the fields as a form of nutrient, for some strange reason the colder the weather the hotter this thing got.
On this particular day it was absolutely freezing, I'd got so many burst pipes I didn't know where to start and I'd had to send someone off to get more fittings, the small stock we kept on the farm just wasn't going to be enough.There was hardly anyone about, most of the girls had been and gone by 9.30, and I envied them being sat at home in front of a nice warm fire, I remembered the old saying about only mad dogs and Englishmen going out in the midday sun and grinned to myself, I wondered what apart from poor bloody maintenance men went out in the freezing cold, even the farmer seemed reluctant to drag himself away from his nice warm Aga in his farmhouse kitchen.
As I turned the corner by the muck heap I noticed one of the girls emptying her wheelbarrow, oddly enough she didn't seem bothered about the cold, she wasn't even wearing the thick warm boots like the other girls, just a pair of cheap rubber wellingtons. "freezing isn't it?" I remarked as I walked past, she smiled, "oh it's not too bad, it's amazing how much heat you get from a muck heap" I nodded, "yeah, but your feet must be bloody freezing in those wellies", she gave me a friendly grin, "like I said it's amazing how much heat a muck heap produces. I carried on and went to fix the next burst pipe on my list, and then onto the next one, and the next and the next, pretty soon it was lunchtime and I retreated to the relative warmth of my van, I had this habit of starting it up on cold days and letting it warm up while I washed my hands and cleaned up, at least that way it was quite a warm place to sit and eat lunch, better than a cold draughty stable.
I'd just sat in the van and was about to open my lunch when I noticed the girl from earlier approaching, I opened my door and called her over, "hi, what are you doing for lunch?" I asked, "oh, I've got some sandwiches and a flask of coffee, as a matter of fact I was just going to sit in my stable and eat it" she replied, "go and get it and join me in here, it's much warmer" I told her, she looked down at her dirty black wellies, "it's ok, my boots are filthy and I can't take them off" she answered, sounding a little uncomfortable. "don't worry, mine aren't clean either, that's why I have the rubber mats, I just hose the mess off them later", she smiled, "ok then if you're sure" I nodded, "I am". She went off and returned shortly after with a plastic sandwich box and a small flask, she opened the passenger door and got in, "ooh it is nice and warm in here isn't it" she smiled, stretching out her legs.
We chatted as we ate our lunch, about work, about the weather and about her favourite subject, horses, she was horse mad, she didn't have a boyfriend, she hadn't time, if she wasn't working she was with her horse.unusually today there was rather a strong smell of horse manure in the van, I sniffed the air, "oh I'm sorry, that must be my wellies warming up, I said I should have stayed in the stable" she said, blushing, "don't worry, I'm used to it, it just seems stronger today" I replied.
Lunch over she thanked me for letting her sit in my warm van, I told her it was a pleasure, it was nice to talk to someone and to be honest she was quite a pleasant young lady, put it this way, I'd spent time with worse people.She went back to her stable and I went back to my pipes, a short while later I'd been fixing quite a bad burst and had to cut out a section of pipe, I remembered I'd left one of my cutters around the back where I'd been working earlier and went to retrieve it. As Iheaded towards the muck heap I noticed my horsey friend standing in the muck heap and wondered what she was doing, she seemed to be sort of paddling, when she'd turned some of the steaming manure into a sort of mush she bent down and removed one of her wellies, as she turned it upside down something fell out of it, I was intrigued and watched quietly and unobserved.
She ten picked up a small trowel and put several scoops of the mushed manure into her boot before stepping back into it, then she did the same with the other one. Suddenly she turned around and spotted me, she looked horrified, I walked over to her, "lost my trowel earlier and came back to find it" she said, her cheeks reddening as she spoke. I smiled, "I see, and it was in your wellie was it?" she looked horrified again, "how long were you stood there then?" she asked, "oh long enough, I was wondering why you were putting that stuff into your boots" I answered, "come here, I'll show you something" she replied, indicating for me to climb onto the muck heap, I did as she asked and ended up stood in a pile of soft muck that came halfway up my boot,"now what?" I asked, "wait a minute, you'll see" she replied, I felt a right fool and hoped that nobody came into the yard, I couldn't think of any plausible explanation as to why two grown adults were standing in a muck heap on a freezing cold winters day, "can you feel it yet?" she asked several minutes later, "feel what?" I asked, "the warmth on your feet", she was right, my feet were several degrees warmer than before I stepped into the heap. "come on, before we get spotted, people will think we're mad" I told her.
She followed me to where I'd left my cutter, "look, please don't tell anyone what you saw, I'd die of embarrasment if it got out" she begged, "ok, but tell me why" I replied, she went on to explain that there were two reasons, the first, it kept her feet warm, and secondly, ever since an incident a few months back she found it turned her on,also the fact that she was walking around with a load of manure inside her boots without anyone knowing only added to the thrill, or it did, but now I knew about her little kink.
She begged me to say nothing about what I'd seen and said she'd make it worth my while if I promised to keep quiet, offering to buy me some beer or some of my favourite cigs, anything to keep quiet.I told her not to worry, her little secret was safe with me, I told her to meet me again in my van tomorrow, I wanted to discuss this, to be honest it interested me.
To be continued